Sunday, November 20, 2005

The PM Shows Us Around

Last month Prime Minister Koizumi moved into his new Official Residence: a small apartment overlooking Yokimi Park.

---- Prime Minister, you have moved into your new Official Residence.

Yes.

---- Do you enjoy it?

I enjoy some things about it. I don’t enjoy other things about it. Mostly, however, I enjoy it very much.

---- Your wife lives with you here. Does she also enjoy it?

My wife is a yellow bird soaring above the sea of night. She is happy to be here and will remain so for as long as I am happy to be here.

---- Where is she now?

She is a dappled sunset sinking into the edge of the earth.

---- When you are not working, Prime Minister, how do you like to relax?

I like to listen to music. Music like the sunshine. Music like a ray gun. Music like a baby’s belly. Music like an unexpected push into a winter lake. I also like to collect toy guns.

---- Toy guns?

Yes.

---- Why do you collect toy guns?

Yes, that’s right. I do collect them. They help me to breathe properly when I pretend to shoot them. Pow.

---- Do you entertain guests here at all?

I entertain guests, yes. I show them my toy guns and we listen to music. Angel music mostly.

---- Angel music?

Like the stars. It is fine, clear celestial music. Especially good for when I’m relaxing in the bath. It helps to soothe and it helps to get me clean.

---- Do you spend a lot of time in the bath?

As long as is necessary. Sometimes ten minutes. Sometimes fifteen minutes. Sometimes twenty minutes. Sometimes twenty-five minutes. I never go up to 30 minutes. That would be an indulgence that neither myself nor my country – our country - could afford.

---- So even while you are here, relaxing in your new home, you are always thinking about your responsibilities, always working?

Yes. You see, I am a buzzing fly. A white butterfly. A flap of a wing at the very beginning of history. I make moves that will influence generations for generations to come. Society, you see, is a brick wall. And I am the man to break through it. Or, rather, fly over it.

---- I was told that the furniture here is all hand-crafted.

Yes.

---- And very expensive.

Yes. Very expensive. I am the Prime Minister. I have certain standards. It wouldn’t be the done thing – as our British friends say – for me to live as an ordinary citizen. I have to maintain. I have to uphold.

---- So you are a step up from the ordinary citizens?

Of course.

---- But you are chosen by them, the ordinary citizens. You are their servant. Correct or not correct?

Not correct. In contrast to your erroneous statement it is those ordinary citizens who serve me. As the Emperor I feel it is my duty – my responsibility – to have a certain amount of regality. For the benefit of my people.

---- You are not the Emperor, Prime Minister.

No, I am not the Emperor. But I try to behave like the Emperor.

---- Can you not just behave like the Prime Minister?

No. I cannot.

8 Comments:

Blogger Molly Bloom said...

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I wonder where the idea for this came from?

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