Thursday, March 09, 2006

Clogged With The Dead

At night my tongue falls into my throat, spreading across my teeth so that I often, in sleep, bite into it. Swollen, sluggish and slain, it saves me from new adventures in speech. It is possibly nature’s way of telling me to shut up. But living beneath the moon I sometimes forget what I’m trying to forget.

There are dreams in these limpid pools beneath the moon. Occasional frond shadows that paint appropriate pictures for the night. The wind is a cut from the moon, a delicate movement, an ice kiss on the back of my neck. Whenever I look into the moon I somehow look into your face.

The last time we met I was troubled to realise how old I’d grown. That although many years had passed me by they had somehow, in their passing, left cruel, indelible marks. It troubled me to know what I looked like, although I did nothing to hide this. Except, as you will recall, when I took the moon at its promise and arranged to meet you by the soft whisper of its distant light. The moon, sleeping, its face not peeping. I was, as you will recall, the perfect picture of our uncertain past.

But the make-believe of dreams is shortened by the stab in my throat. You’re still gone and I wake knowing that you’re gone. Outside, the rush of the night, the sway of closing doors, the familiar push of passers-by. The moon its own mirror.

This way lies not just madness but also certain death and pain. I have no idea where I am. The eyes are out there, watching, hysterical madness a touch away, a howl upon their lips. The moon in its infancy throws a tantrum across the sky.

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The moon is the headstone in the graveyard of the night, the blister on the Brown Bomber's fist. The ‘o’ in the middle of alone.

10 Comments:

Blogger lettuce said...

Just dropped in (via Betty Cress), and I very much like your writing. Especially this piece, and especially the wind as "a cut from the moon...". Poignant, also wry.

10:07 AM  
Blogger Molly Bloom said...

Absolutely heartbreaking and wonderful. I cried when I read this. Thankyou for giving us this piece - you have the ability to make us laugh out loud, shock us in dealing with the taboo and break our hearts too. Sensitive and beautiful.

12:59 PM  
Blogger Molly Bloom said...

I've just had to come back and read this again and still it is brilliant. I think I'll come back again later. So good, so good.

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