The Yellow Frost Wades In

The Yellow Frost. Time-travelling superhero. In town to promote his newish book. Out last year but withdrawn and remaindered due to low sales. Out again this year with a bigger marketing thrust based around the soon-to-be-released biopic: ‘The Thawing of The Yellow Frost: His Long Voyage Through History’.

A question and answer session with The Yellow Frost and the children of Form 2B, Muttley Held Primary School, Raffles, Duncan.

Q. Are you a fat?
YF: No. I’m a thin. Look.

Q. Do you squeeze pooh from your bum or ice from your bum?
YF: Pooh. Just like everybody else.

Q: Does your momma und poppa despise you yes?
YF: You German kid?
Q. Ja. Yes.
YF: Get the fuck out of my classroom.
Q. Ist not your classroom no?
YF: You’re right kid. Someone get this Kraut motherfucker out of… yeah, that's great, thanks.
Q. Schwein! I get you for this! Schwein!

Q: Why don’t you like Germans?
YF: Come on kid, who the hell likes Germans? Jeez.

Q. Do you eat normal food?
YF: Yes.

Q. Why are you yellow?
YF: I’m not. It’s just my costume that’s yellow.

Q. Who ate all the pies?
YF: Looks like you did kid.

Q. How many fingers am I holding up?
YF: Three. No, four. No, three.

Q. How many roads must a man walk down?
YF: Good question kid. That’d be three.

Q: You like spicy sausage ya, und mustard?
YF: Hey, the Nazi kid's back. Someone get… thanks.

Q. Are you a bummer?
YF: What’s a bummer?

Q. Do you shave your head or are you bald?
YF: Bald? What the fuck? Listen kid, that’s all my own hair up there!

Q. Can you travel through time?
YF: Did you see the film kid?
Q: Yes.
YF: What was I doing all through the film?
Q. Fighting?
YF: What’s the film called?
Q: It’s called “The Thawing of The Yellow Frost: His Long Voyage Through History.”
YF: Right. So what was I doing? Apart from fighting.
Q. Acting?
YF: Acting? What the... Jesus. Apart from the fighting and the acting!
Q. Flying?
YF: For fuck’s sake kid, I was travelling through time!
Q. Oh yes.
YF: So you have your answer.
Q. What answer?
YF: You know, can you travel through time!?
Q. No, I can’t. Can you?